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Posts Tagged ‘gentle discipline’

Discipline and Pre-School

In How on 30 March 2015 at 4:23 pm

My son, who is 3.5 years old, has in the last few weeks been having a lot of discipline related issues at preschool. He screams no for everything and yells back at the teachers and his friends and refuses to participate in any group activities. He chooses to cry rather than talk to show his frustrations.  What is making this worse, is that he doesn’t behave like this at home at all.  Dad and I keep getting calls from school about his “bad” behavior.  They want us to control his behavior as they are concerned that the other kids will pick this behavior from him.  I have tried talking to him, explaining to him, bribing him, pretending to be upset with him and nothing seems to work.  There have been no changes in our family or routine. 

– Mama of two in Austin

The frustration you describe reminds me of my own observations of life for a 3.5 year old, which I find to be a time that kids recognize that the world does not make sense and that some questions will not have satisfactory answers.  It is a painful recognition and while we cannot take away the pain, we can be patient listeners.  The intense physical, intellectual and emotional growth of toddlers and youth goes through various spurts.  We may not see any reasons for these changes in behavior but in fact their world is changing every day and they are scrambling to keep up.
shadowtolight

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Brushing Teeth

In How on 18 December 2012 at 3:52 am

Help! My son won’t brush his teeth.

– mother of a 2 year old in Abu Dhabi

Brushing teeth is something that we tend to do at times of the day when we have one eye on the clock, be it for eating breakfast and getting out of the house, or for getting to bed.

For those who are yet new to the task of teeth-brushing, and who may not be particularly keen to get out of the house or to get to bed, what incentive is there to brush? Let alone to brush quickly – hence leading the time-sensitive parent to conclude “he won’t brush.” Maybe your son needs more time to brush, and for brushing to be more fun and meaningful. Explain in a matter-of-fact, non-threatening way, why we brush our teeth and try to incorporate tooth-rushing into a pleasant family routine.

Here are some more things you can try:

1) Say something like: “Hey Lou, it’s party time! Junior just ate some yummy food and some of it is still there around his teeth. Call all your friends and let’s get some! Those are the bugs talking, they are coming to eat some food and multiply. They are in for a shock when the toothbrush comes in!”

2) Brush each other’s teeth.

3) Put the tooth powder / tooth paste on each other’s tooth brush.

4) Brush at a time of day when you aren’t in a rush.

5) Diversify your teeth cleaning methods so that the pressure is not on brushing alone. Swish with water or eat apple, carrot or celery, especially after sticky or crumbly foods.

Most of the above come from our own experience. Now it all seems so long ago!

Gentle reader
, what are some ways you have encouraged toothbrushing?   Please comment and share your tips and techniques.

Pro-Choice (A Dialogue)

In How on 18 December 2012 at 3:47 am

Though I believe in giving choices I am concerned about how we offer choices with information and help children understand consequences that follow. So I come back to the basics to understand what choices actually are.

Is a choice:

– to offer a child two snacks and letting him pick on his own? (The snacks are decided by us.)
– or to let the child choose something from whole pantry itself.
– or, when a child wants sugar or desserts (too much of which we don’t want in their food) to offer apple, grapes etc instead of sugar or desserts.

– Amma of a 3 year-old in California

Before coming to the specific question on choice of snacks, let us look at the general question of offering choices. Read the rest of this entry »

Losing Patience

In How on 3 July 2012 at 8:10 pm

I feel I am often losing my patience these days. I end up raising my voice, or at least having that tone of anger, admonishing, or worse, I fall into the popular trap of bribing her with something to take her away from something else.

Right after I have talked to my daughter in a harsh tone, I often give her a hug, say sorry, and explain, but that is still not where I want to be.

– Mom of a 3 year old in Texas

To get where we want to be as parents, there are a number of good sources of help. You will get there. I will get there. Along the way there will be times we wish we could go back and do differently, or more likely DO NOTHING (in capital letters). Those moments hold the potential to be our best teachers. Read the rest of this entry »

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