Ask Amma

Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

Has your baby doubled her birth weight?

In How on 13 September 2014 at 1:12 pm

When do babies double their birth weight? 

I’ve heard this question so often these days, yet it was not a topic that came up regularly when I was a new mother.  When in doubt, blame the internet.  Sure, we had plenty  internet in 2003 but we didn’t have such ready means of comparing baby weights and collecting ever more factoids over which we could check our status and see how well we were or weren’t keeping up with the Joneses.

So, compared to the new mothers of today who give their babies age  in weeks and continue giving the age to the tenth decimal place,  I actually don’t know exactly when my daughter doubled her birth weight but I can say it was between the age of 7 and 8 months.

Babies on the train.  It is unclear whether they have doubled their birth weight.

Babies on the upper berth. It is unclear whether they have doubled their birth weight.  But they are enjoying the train!

Read the rest of this entry »

Make Myself Proud

In Wit on 3 February 2014 at 8:00 pm
Kids Just Say the Darnedest Things!
 
Dushyant Baba from Great Falls marveled at his 4-year-old’s sense of independence after a conversation they had while reading a story: 
 

While reading a story about chicken little I asked R “so will you make your baba feel proud of you?”

Instant reply “NO, my baba should make himself feel proud of what he will do for himself and I will make myself proud of what I will I do for me.”

Dushyant & Rewa


AskAmma thanks Dushyant for sharing this precious conversation.

Is it Necessary to Have a Doula?

In Yes / No on 26 May 2012 at 1:18 am

How necessary is it to have a doula in the delivery room?

mom-to-be in Maryland

You give birth, your baby comes forth into the world.  Strictly speaking, no one else is necessary.  But they can be helpful – if you need help.

I think someone who believes in you and builds your confidence is worth having close by while giving birth.  Someone who can give a good massage, suggest appropriate movement, positions, breathing, and other steps to reassure you and your family in times of doubt, pain and uncertainty can make an enormous difference during labour.  Read the rest of this entry »

Needle freaks my husband out – help!

In What on 9 May 2012 at 3:45 am

My husband totally freaks out on a prick of a needle. How can I help my husband overcome the fears of the labor process and help him gain confidence and in turn help me gain confidence?
– Expecting in Elkridge


Dear Expecting in Elkridge,
First and foremost, keep in mind that giving birth normally does not involve any needles!  So no need to fear.

To help me with your question I turned to newly minted Appa Arun in Gaithersburg.  He says:

I think there are a few things in play here.
1) Fear of the unknown – The best way to overcome this is to read about it and watch a number of videos and so on. This will bridge the information asymmetry in some ways.
2) You do not want your loved one getting hurt and in pain and bleeding and so on. But unlike other injuries, this is pain with a purpose which, in some sense, should be embraced rather than feared. If the mom and dad can make that psychological switch together, then the whole process becomes easier. If the mom makes the switch earlier and keeps communicating that to dad, that might help too.
3) Above all, you would be witnessing your loved one involved in one of the most beautiful acts of nature. And she is overcoming her doubts and fears, no small amount of pain, and putting in a heroic effort – you have your own child fighting his/her way out of the mother’s womb. It is a situation where you automatically get inspired and elevated and want to play a small cheerleading role at a very minimum. And the respect for each other as a couple grows manifold and the relationship enters an entirely new level.

Thank you Arun!  You are recruited as official cheerleader for the Appas of the Askamma community!

Want to talk to Arun, man-to-man?  Send a message with subject “for Arun” and Amma will pass it along. 

Whether your little one calls you Appa or Pappa or Nanna something else entirely,  Amma wants to hear from you.  Were you nervous in the labour room?  How did you cope?  Send in your stories for the next issue or post your comments online right now.

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